Why It Matters: Generosity of Women
/This is a followup to the earlier article called the “Practical Generosity of Women”. This is about why it matters to us now, especially for professional women, but certainly not exclusively.
I bet if you go look in your purse or backpack right now, you’ll find at least a couple of things in it that can be used by other people if needed. Advil? Hand sanitizer? Tampons? Snacks? Yeah, it's all stuff we need ourselves, but why do we carry a little extra?
I think most women express generosity in ways that most men do not. Yes, we give money and time and effort like men do, but our unique thing is practicality.
Women have always carried things. Carried water, crops, baskets, kids. We see it in art and photographs from all the way back and everywhere. Women still do these things in some places, and in others carry backpacks and purses and load up the minivans and car consoles. Coolers and baby strollers.
Women plan ahead and think through the eventualities. The kiddos and people around us are provided for, even in large groups. I happen to think that the bible miracle of the loaves and fishes wasn’t about making food appear out of thin air; the miracle was that Jesus knew the women there had all planned and packed a little extra and he counted on it. The women were the miracle of abundance and plenty. Fight me on it.
So why don’t women readily do more of that for each other in our work environments? Why isn’t it our universal M.O. to extend our practical generosity more easily to other women? At least in corporate situations where I came up, we’re coached to be competitive with each other, to be stingy or withhold praise and support, to look out for ourselves as individuals, to wait for permission to act. Those are very clearly Masculine models of group behavior.
If we use the decidedly Feminine loaves and fishes story as our own group behavior model, not only do we get to share with each other, we get to take all we need from the baskets as often as needed. Share the spotlight, share the credit, share the work, share the responsibilities. If the abundance we create is specifically extended to each other, think what we can accomplish in environments that are inherently Masculine…
I think it should also be noted that, in the old story, no one announced or thanked the women for providing the abundance. In our predominantly Masculine work environments, we don’t necessarily need to announce what we’re doing or how much we’ve brought to the table. Our obligation, perhaps, is to bring the goods specifically for each other:
If you’re a leader, shine light on the women you lead and fight to pay them equitably
If someone tells you they’ve been discriminated against, believe and support them the very first time they tell you
Actively help promote and advance women who want to lead
Take on mentoring and coaching roles for your female coworkers
Help fill in gaps for women when work-life balance becomes WORK-life imbalance and take advantage of the help of others when you need it
Actively network with women in the company and talk about all of this – make agreements and plans to add the Feminine model into the company culture
Our practical generosity has existed for millennia and will for centuries to come. The world runs on it. I challenge us, as professional women, to use for ourselves what we carry for others. If we agree to contribute for each other and then dig deep and take all we need, we all move forward.
